Throughout the month of March, we’ve addressed some issues that domestic discipline couples face when going through the spanking process.  Prior to the spanking itself hesitation and negotiating can be problems, and as a couple moves forward with the actual spanking itself, movement can become a problem as well.  Another potential problem during the spanking is the submissive partner deliberately reaching their hand back to interfere with the spanking.  Clearly this would be/is a dangerous situation for the submissive partner, and it’s the HoH’s responsibility to address this problem to ensure the safety of their partner throughout the entire spanking process.

When the submissive partner reaches their hand back during the spanking, they immediately puts themselves at higher risk of long term harm.  Their hand could inadvertently be struck with the spanking implement which, on top of being extremely painful, could lead to a broken hand if the spanking implement being used is a dense one (such as a wooden paddle).  Needless to say, it’s extremely important the HoH get this problem corrected if it’s a recurring issue when spanking.

The submissive partner reaching their hand back during a spanking is also done deliberately with intent to interfere, which shows an element of disrespect to the HoH.  Movement during a spanking is an involuntary reaction to the pain source, reaching the hand back is a choice consciously made by the submissive partner.  They want the spanking/pain to stop, so they choose to interfere with it in an effort to make the spanking/pain stop.  Given this added element of disrespect, the HoH now must choose whether or not to add an additional consequence for disrespect, or intensify one of the recommended options (outlined below) if in fact disrespect is breaking one of the couples agreed upon rules of the household.

Just as with the movement problem, the first universal recommendation before all the following options is that the HoH communicate to their partner how important it is that they not reach their hand back during the spanking before the spanking starts. “Please do not reach your hand back during the spanking.  The last thing we need is you putting your hand in harms way.  It’s very important that you keep your hands out of the way, okay?“  The submissive partner has been given the choice at this point, so what does or does not happen to them as a result of their reaching is up to them.

The recommended options for correcting the reaching problem are the same as the recommendations for correcting the movement problem.  A recap of them is listed below:

  • Option #1: Additional Spanks – In this option, the HoH would add additional strikes to the end of the spanking.  It’s important that the HoH be clear to their that the additional strikes are for reaching the hand back to separate the two offenses (the original offense and the reaching problem).  Anywhere from 3-10 additional strikes is recommended.
  • Option #2: Corner Time After The Spanking – In this option, the HoH administers corner time for the reaching problem their partner had during the spanking once the spanking is completed.
  • Option #3: Harder Strikes Mid Spanking – In this option, the HoH stops momentarily mid spanking and gently moves their partner’s hand out of the spanking area, then strikes slightly harder than normal for 5-10 strikes, then continues on at normal strength until the spanking is over.  Again, it’s important in that brief moment that the HoH communicate to their partner that the harder strikes are for the reaching problem so the submissive partner can separate the two offenses.
  • Option #4: Striking Bare Mid Spanking – This option is only useful for couples that spank over any kind of clothing.  In this option the HoH spanks over the clothing until their partner reaches their hand back, at which point the HoH gently moves their partner’s hand out of the way, removes their partner’s clothing momentarily, strikes the bare buttocks 5-10 times, then puts the clothing back in place and picks up the spanking where they left off.  This clearly separates the two offenses, however most couples choose to spank bare-bottomed from the start rendering this option useless.  For couples that spank over the underwear/clothing, this is the option we highly recommend they go with.  This is yet another reason why, in addition to the other two in this post, we recommend beginner couples spank over the underwear/pajamas rather than bare-bottomed from the start.
  • Option #5: Placing “Worse” Implement in Line of Sight – In this option, before the spanking starts, the HoH places a “worse” implement in the line of sight of their partner as a reminder that any reaching will result in the use of that implement.  If the submissive partner has a reaching issue when using this option, it’s recommended the HoH strike 5-10 times with the “worse” implement to separate the two offenses, then go back to the original implement being used.

Option #4 is far and away the most effective option and thus the option most recommended, however given the fact that most couples choose to spank bare-bottomed from the start, option #3 is recommended to those couples in getting the reaching problem corrected.  Which option to be used is ultimately determined by the husband.

This is the fourth installment of the “Addressing Spanking Issues” series.  For the first, second and third installments, please click on the links below.

© 2012 Learning Domestic Discipline