Now that Learning Domestic Discipline is nearly 8 months old, we’re comfortable recommending some variations/escalations on corner time for couples with a bit of domestic discipline experience to build upon. Often during the corner time punishment, the submissive partner naturally and without thinking does certain behaviors that break their focus on the original mistake. These corner time escalations are intended to either A) revert the submissive partner back to focusing on the original mistake if they lost focus/got distracted during corner time, or B) aid in keeping the submissive partner’s focus on the mistake for the duration of corner time.
If you’re new to the website, or a beginner with domestic discipline, we highly recommend you read over the original corner time post before implementing any of the following corner time escalations. These corner time escalations are for more experienced couples in the lifestyle.
Before getting started, it’s important to address why some of these escalations may be necessary in a corner time punishment situation. The primary reason for corner time is for the submissive partner to focus on the mistake/poor judgment that warranted the punishment in the first place. It’s important that while in corner time the submissive partner identify the problem, think about WHY it’s a problem, and think about how they can handle themselves better in similar future situations. When the submissive partner loses focus during corner time, parts of, or ALL of, those aspects in correcting the issue can be lost, rendering the punishment ineffective/useless. To achieve the best results in getting the behavior corrected, it’s crucial the submissive partner remain focused on the issue at hand for the duration of the corner time punishment.
The most common issues submissive partners struggle with during a corner time punishment are turning around, trying to leave the corner, asking when corner time is over, rubbing the buttocks (if the corner time is administered after a spanking) during corner time, and having a “wandering eye” during corner time. All of these issues clearly show a lack of focus on the original problem that prompted the corner time punishment in the first place, and there are a few options HoHs have to get the submissive partner’s focus back on track.
Option #1: Forehead On The Wall
A rather common problem HoHs have when administering a corner time punishment is the submissive partner regularly turning around during the punishment and/or constantly trying to leave the corner before the punishment is completed. To address this, we recommend the HoH require their partner to stand in the corner with their forehead up against the wall for the duration of the punishment. We understand this can be perceived as a bit silly and/or juvenile, however it can be an effective means to correcting the problem of the submissive partner turning around/leaving the corner without having to escalate the punishment into bedroom time, or a spanking. This also helps the submissive partner maintain focus on the original problem and how to correct it, rather than constantly thinking about leaving the corner or asking, “How much time is left?“, or, “Is it over yet?“. When they’re doing that, they have lost focus and aren’t getting the full benefit of the punishment. It’s important the HoH help keep their partner focused on the problem so it doesn’t become a repetitive issue.
While the submissive partner may find this ridiculous, annoying, or childish – which is understandable – they do have control over whether or not the HoH has to take this escalation measure. If the submissive partner is cooperative during the punishment, this doesn’t have to happen. If they aren’t, then the HoH has to determine whether or not it’s a big enough issue to take this escalation measure.
Option #2: Hands On The Head
If the submissive partner has an issue with rubbing their buttocks while in corner time (after a spanking), we recommend the HoH require their partner conduct the corner time punishment with their hands upon their head for the duration of the punishment. How it’s done is relatively self-explanatory – while in the corner, the submissive partner simply places their hands on top of their head, interlocking the fingers (which helps the arms not get so tired) for the duration of the punishment. This will keep their hands away from their buttocks, and will also serve as a constant reminder to maintain focus on the original issue. It’s completely harmless, but is an effective way in helping the submissive partner refrain from rubbing their buttocks after a spanking, as well as effective in helping the submissive partner remain focused on the original problem.
Again, the submissive partner may find this ridiculous, annoying, or childish but they do have control over whether or not the HoH has to take this escalation measure. If the submissive partner is cooperative during the punishment, this doesn’t have to happen. If they aren’t, then the HoH has to determine whether or not it’s a big enough issue to take this escalation measure.
Option #3: Buttocks Exposed
To be clear, we only recommend this corner time escalation if the submissive partner simply does not understand how to conduct themselves during corner time. We don’t recommend this escalation measure often, however it is an option for HoHs if they feel it’s necessary. Essentially this option is having the submissive partner stand in the corner with their bare buttocks exposed for the duration of the punishment.
The reason we don’t recommend this option as much as the others is because it can be humiliating for the submissive partner, which is not the purpose of any aspect of any punishment. The purpose of this corner time escalation technique is to serve as a reminder to the submissive partner that they need to cooperate and remain focused during the corner time punishment, otherwise their defiance may lead to a spanking. This corner time escalation is highly effective, however HoHs need to be sensitive to the fact that it CAN be somewhat humiliating for their partner. Just as with the other escalations, this doesn’t need to happen, and the submissive partner can control whether or not this escalation is necessary with their cooperation level during the corner time punishment. This corner time escalation technique is, by far, the most effective in ensuring the submissive partner remain focused for the duration of the punishment.
We remind you, these are simply recommendations. We encourage couples to discuss these options and determine which option(s) would be beneficial to them, and whether or not they want to implement any of these escalations into their corner time punishments. It’s best to discuss these options when the couple is not in any kind of discipline situation so they aren’t biased to them. Naturally in a punishment situation couples (particularly submissive partners) aren’t going to want the punishment to be escalated, however when a couple has a discussion under “normal” circumstances, generally they are much more understanding of the purpose of the escalation, and much more rational when discussing the benefits of the escalation. As with everything else in a domestic discipline relationship, a couple should have a meaningful discussion about implementing new/different techniques, with the final decision ultimately made by the head of the household.
© 2011 Learning Domestic Discipline