Maintenance Spankings

Maintenance Spankings

A topic that has come up a lot in the comments and on the Learning Domestic Discipline social network recently is the idea of maintenance spankings.  With all the recent discussion about them, we figured now was the right time to discuss maintenance spankings on the blog.  Maintenance spankings provide a way for the HoH to keep the submissive partner on the right track and reconnect, as well as provide a means for the submissive partner to get an emotional release.  We’ll explain more in just a moment, but let’s start with what exactly maintenance spankings are.

What are maintenance spankings?

Maintenance spankings are light spanking sessions conducted by the head of the household on the submissive partner regularly, without infraction.  They’re conducted in a very similar manner to how beginner level spankings and warm up spankings are recommended to be done.  The only major differences are the implement used and the reason behind it.  It’s recommended the hairbrush or wooden paddle be used when conducting a beginner level spanking, however with maintenance spankings it’s recommended something lighter be used, such as a spanking buddy, a wooden spoon, or the hand.  A hairbrush would also work, but it wouldn’t be necessary to strike quite as hard as recommended for a beginner level spanking.

The frequency in which maintenance spankings are done is at the discretion of the head of the household.  It’s recommended maintenance spankings be done approximately one week apart, but not on the same day every week.  For instance, if maintenance spankings are done every Sunday, they’ll lose effectiveness since the submissive partner will know when they are going to happen.  Anywhere from one week to two weeks apart is ideal, give or take.  As always, the HoH should be fair with this.  If the submissive partner is having a good week, the HoH should wait a little longer to do maintenance.  If the submissive partner is having a rough week, we recommend the HoH do maintenance a little sooner than normal.

All the same methods recommended in the beginner level spanking post still apply when conducting a maintenance spanking.  Alternating cheeks when striking, the submissive partner is in the leaning over the bed position (or OTK), approximately 15-20 strikes, etc.  It’s also very important that the HoH comforts the submissive partner afterward, just as they would after a traditional spanking.

Why would a couple conduct maintenance spankings?

There are three reasons.

1) – To keep the submissive partner on the right track, and to remind them that they need to follow the agreed upon rules at all times.  Maintenance spankings are effective in helping the submissive partner remember to continue following the rules and to continue doing the right things.  Maintenance spankings essentially protect the submissive partner from himself/herself during the week.  By the HoH reminding the submissive partner in this manner, it in turn makes it less likely that a major infraction by the submissive partner will occur during the week.

2) – To reconnect.  Spanking in general is a very intimate thing between partners.  Given this intimacy, and given the comforting and cuddling that takes place after a maintenance spanking, some couples choose to make maintenance spankings a part of their domestic discipline relationship to simply enhance the intimacy between the two of them and strengthen that emotional bond.

3) – To give the submissive partner an emotional release.  Maintenance spankings offer a means to release emotions so the submissive partner feels much better afterward.  This goes back to why it’s so important that the submissive partner cry after a spanking - it releases the emotions of guilt, disappointment, sorrow, etc.  Sometimes just “crying it out” will help a submissive partner feel better about whatever they are/were upset about, and maintenance spankings provide that avenue in which to give that emotional release.

There may not be an aspect of domestic discipline we’re more on the fence about than maintenance spankings.  We’re split 50/50 as being for or against them.  However, we’re comfortable enough with them to include them on the blog, but they aren’t something we outwardly recommend couples do.

We’ve always felt a spanking is a punishment tool intended to correct an unwanted, dangerous or detrimental behavior, and we don’t like the idea of spanking when the submissive partner didn’t do anything wrong.  We also don’t like the idea of spanking when the submissive partner is upset/crying to get their emotions out, since we feel the submissive partner should never have to worry about showing emotion in front of the HoH.  HOWEVER, with all of that said, we understand the benefits of maintenance spankings and a lot of couples prefer them.  Don’t let our personal feelings discourage you from trying them if you feel they would be beneficial to your relationship.  Like we said, we’re really 50/50 on maintenance spankings.

Just as with all the recommendations on Learning Domestic Discipline, maintenance spankings are something a couple should discuss together to determine if they’re right for their relationship.  Now that you’re familiar with what exactly maintenance spankings are, how they’re done, and why they’re done, we encourage you and your partner to discuss them and determine if you both want them a part of your relationship going forward.

©2011 Learning Domestic Discipline


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  4. I’ve been in several kinds of dd relationships but maintenance spankings have always helped me because I’ve never been able to ask for a spanking if I feel I’ve done something wrong. And I always tell on myself as I was taught to do but some things he doesn’t deem nessisary to punish for but there may still be residual guilt over and the maintenance spanking clears all that away. In my humble opinion.

    • Thank you for sharing your experience, Katie. We’re sure there are others who can relate. We appreciate you taking the time to comment.

      All the best to you and yours.

      — Clint & Chelsea

    • I think I would benefit from one also because I,m always seeming to get my self in trouble and need one every week to correct the problem and to teach myself a lesson so that o don,t repeat the same offense again and if so be made to go in the corner before and after the punishment.

  5. I am very new to DD and actually just performed a maintenance spanking yesterday (it was the first for us). I have only performed a few spankings otherwise.
    My girl does NOT like spankings AT ALL. They are always accompanied with some time in the corner and ample lecturing followed by a hug a kiss and maybe a back rub to show how much I do love her and remind her the spankings are out of love only.

    I have decided on monthly maintenance spankings due to the fact that she admitted to cussing when not around me and I have no reason to believe that she will stop for awhile. The maintenance spankings are basically punishment and reminders not to do that in hope that, eventually, she will think twice about profanity ever. When she can tell me that she is always obedient to our rules, and I trust her to be honest, I will not perform these.

    I have one question. We discussed our new DD and she said that she feels childish being spanked and put in the corner. That it is embarrassing to her, and that she once got “sniffly” while in the corner over embarrassment and pain from the spanking.
    Now I don’t think the spankings are that bad. They are always only hand spankings, bare bottomed or in panties (so as to ensure I don’t damage her bottom and keep an eye on redness) and usually between 10 and 30. I am not wailing on her or anything, so I think she was fine, but the embarrassment got to her.
    I honestly feel like act childish and represent yourself and me childish I will deal with you as needed.
    The spankings and wall time work GREAT with her and she is absolutely on board and understanding of our DD relationship!
    I just wonder if I should worry about the embarrassment or change it up somehow in your opinion?
    Thanks for the great blog it is very helpful!

    • Glad to hear you enjoy the blog, Chris. Thanks so much for reading.

      Her being embarrassed by the punishments is definitely something to take seriously. The goal is never to embarrass or humiliate. If she’s uncomfortable in any way, then it would be best to look into modifying the way you currently punish and find a way to do so without her feeling this way.

      It’s hard to give suggestions since I don’t know what exactly is making her feel embarrassed. I would first talk to her about what specifically is making her feel this way and zero in on modifying/correcting that aspect of the punishment.

      It doesn’t sound as though you’re doing anything incorrectly from a technical standpoint. Your spankings sound reasonable to me, but again, if she is being embarrassed in some way, it’s important to address that and find something she feels comfortable with.

      I hope this helps you out! Best of luck to you.

      — Clint

  6. I absolutely am thrilled that you both took the time and effort to make this blog. I have been married for twelve years and I’m an advocate for domestic discipline. It has made me a better wife without a doubt. My husband set the ground rules early in our marriage with the understanding that he would be and still is the decision maker and disciplinarian, with me supporting him in his role. I know that a “spanking” lifestyle sounds abnormal to alot of people, but for us, it was the best decision we ever made. My husband is very loving and I appreciate his consistent guidance. Our relationship mirrors yours in alot of ways with one small exception: I always thank my husband after being disciplined. At first I didn’t, the thought of thanking him for being spanked felt absurd but when he explained to me that it wasn’t meant to degrade me in anyway but it was a way of me showing him that I respected and appreciated him. We are both in our fifties and reading your blogs has helped us to fine tune our relationship to be an even better one. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.

    • It sounds to me that you are the one with the fetish because you are the one trolling aroung this website. If this is not a subject that you believe in then don’t frequent the website.

    • Hello Treasure,

      Your comment says more about you and the way your mind works than it does about those that live this lifestyle, but we understand. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard that and it won’t be the last. There are those that understand domestic discipline and those that never will. It’s alright. Life goes on. :)

      Wishing you and yours the very best.

      — Clint & Chelsea