Punishment #2: Bedroom Time
Another common punishment within a domestic discipline relationship/marriage is bedroom time. Just like corner time, this punishment is pretty straight forward. Bedroom time is essentially having the submissive partner spend a period of time (the length of that time is determined by the head of household) alone in the bedroom. It’s another “thinking” punishment where the idea is to have the submissive partner spend some time alone to think about what they did wrong, and why it’s a problem without any outside distractions. Bedroom time is basically an escalation of – or a more “serious” version of - corner time.
As with most punishments, there’s a lot more to it than one would think initially. More goes into this punishment than just sending the submissive partner to the bedroom for a period of time. It’s important to get the submissive partner thinking about their mistake; to get them thinking about why this mistake is an issue; and to give them instruction on how to conduct themselves the next time they’re in the exact same situation. We’ll go over a step-by-step breakdown on how we recommend the bedroom time punishment be done, just as we did with the corner time punishment.
Step 1: Bedroom time can be used as its own punishment, but more often than not bedroom time is an escalation of corner time. Just as with corner time, the HoH needs to do/say two things before sending their partner to the bedroom. The first thing is to let the submissive partner know why they’re in trouble, and what their punishment is going to be. “I shouldn’t have to repeat myself three times to get you to do something dear. I really need you to listen to me. Since you’re having a hard time with listening today, I think you need to spend some time in the bedroom until you can learn how to listen.” Next, the HoH lets their partner know how the situation could have been better handled. “Rather than argue with me and get yourself punished, you could have saved us both a lot of stress had you just done what I asked the first time instead of making a big deal out of this. I should only have to ask for something to be done once. This has become a much bigger deal than it needed to be.“
Step 2: The HoH determines the length of time the submissive partner is to spend in the bedroom. We recommend starting out with 30 minutes as a general time frame, and adding or subtracting time based on how the submissive partner handles themselves. If the submissive partner cooperates and shows remorse, take 10-15 minutes off of the punishment time. If the submissive partner fights and argues about the punishment, the HoH can add 10-15 minutes. We wouldn’t recommend going any longer than one hour of total time in any one setting, however. If the submissive partner escalates things any further than that, the punishment should be escalated to a spanking. At that point the submissive partner has indicated they aren’t going to cooperate. We know submissive partners dislike being punished (which is the point), but if the HoH is fair like this, the submissive partner has a lot more control over their punishment than they may initially think. This will give the submissive partner more incentive to cooperate as well, which is always helpful.
Step 3: The HoH calmly and gently walks their partner to the bedroom. We understand in this moment the HoH may be angry/frustrated/annoyed, but staying calm, collected and loving is crucial. When in the bedroom, the HoH sits with their partner on the bed and gives a lecture. The lecture is optional, but we highly recommend one be given at this point since it helps so much with the long term correction of a problem. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy lecture, just long enough to help the submissive partner understand why their behavior is a problem.
Step 4: The HoH emoves all distractions from the bedroom. Things like the remote to the TV, magazines/books, phones, laptop computers, etc. are recommended to be removed. This isn’t supposed to be fun. Removing all distractions will keep the submissive partner’s mind on their behavior, what they need to do to correct that behavior, and why they’re in the position they’re in. Then the HoH leaves the room. If the submissive partner exits the room, it’s recommended the HoH add time on to the punishment as described in step 2. If the submissive partner repeatedly leaves the room, then the HoH really has no other choice but to spank.
Step 5: When the punishment time is up, it’s recommended the HoH go to the bedroom and get their partner out of the bedroom. “Alright babe – you understand why this punishment was necessary, right?” The couple briefly talks about the situation, the HoH comforts their partner, and the couple moves forward with their day.
Bedroom time is another fairly minor punishment. As we said before, it’s more of an escalation of corner time than anything else. It’s a fair punishment for things like excessive failure to listen, poor/negative attitude, little temper tantrums/fits, and things of that nature. It’s the last “chance” for the submissive partner to get their behavior under control before the HoH has to escalate the punishment into a spanking. So that’s how we recommend bedroom time to be done.
© 2011 Learning Domestic Discipline